Listening Friends

Who Are We?

The purpose of the team is to provide pastoral care for the Quaker
Rainbow community (Quaker F&P 12:13-19). We have adopted the
phrase ‘Listening Friends’ to describe the role as we work to find our
way. We are not experts in any field beyond our own experiences as
Quakers and the LGBTQ+ community where we live/have lived. We
strive to listen (or read), in a way which is empathic and supportive.

We will help signpost to other specialist, or local, supports where this is
required. Select Listening Friends from our form to Contact Us.

Origins:

In November 2022, Quaker Rainbow Open Committee Meeting minutes recorded the following:

The subject of Pastoral Care has been discussed in the past but has not been acted on as yet. The clerks proposed the creation of a “Listening Friends” group organised in a similar way to the clerking group. We feel there is a need for pastoral care tailored to LGBTQI+ Friends both at meetings of the fellowship and outside. This could be particularly important where friends are part of local or area meetings where there is less understanding of LGBTQIA+ matters.

From this minute a Steering Group was appointed to explore the options Quaker Rainbow based pastoral care. Perhaps not surprisingly members of that Steering Group become the Listening Friends Group.

Objectives:

  1. Firstly, to provide a ‘listening ear’ (empathy), for people contacting us and to proactively enquire after Friends within the Quaker Rainbow Community.
  2. Secondly, where requested, to offer support to Friends to develop strengths-based strategies for coping with the issues they feel they face in their lives at this point.
  3. To make Quaker Rainbow easily and confidentially accessible through several different mediums: phone/Zoom/email/person to person.
    (NB The role of Pastoral Friend for Quaker Rainbow will often not be a ‘face-to-face ‘ situation but be delivered ‘from a distance ‘ to the initial enquirer and their local Quaker community, and will frequently rely on the use of ‘electronic devices’ for communication which can challenge communication skills where empathy and positive support need to be clearly demonstrated.)
  4. To have a general awareness of inclusion issues with a focus on issues arising from LGBTQ+ experience, both within LGBTQ circles and within the wider world.
  5. To be aware of, and use best practice, in the areas of confidentiality, GDPR and safeguarding.
  6. Over time, to build up a database of useful contacts and resources.
  7. Listening Friends have no specialist expertise therefore - where it was jointly agreed with them - any person seeking specialist support the role of the team would be to ‘signpost’ to counselling, medical or social care services, or other services as appropriate.

Where we are now

10 months on from the Quaker Rainbow Open Committee meeting minute Listening Friends is established with its own confidential email address for contact.

We look forward to engaging with people to listen and to respond appropriately. Over the coming months we plan to reflect on actual experience, learn from it, and adjust how we do things accordingly.

An extract from the BYM Epistle 2023 illustrates our aspirations:
‘Kindness has a powerful impact and we hope to offer caring support to all, including those with whom we disagree………
We can be a listening presence, creating ‘kinder ground’ alongside speaking truth in public places and contexts’.

Listening Friends can be contacted via our Contact Us page.